Sometimes I really miss my ex and my ex best friend. I know it was the right thing to cut them out of my life. My ex was unapologetically abusive, and my ex best friend supported him in his shittiness. But I miss the way he smells. Waking up in an empty hotel bed and wishing I could roll over and breathe him in. I miss his childlike nature. I even miss getting mad at him for playing childish games like snowball fights with me when I wasn’t in the mood. I miss talking to my friend about writing. I feel she’d be proud of the work I’m doing. I’m forever saddened that she didn’t pick me.
I continue on existing. And I know they’re aware of my existence. And they let me go. Do they ever want to reach out to me in the darkness? Do they ever want to whisper into the lonely night and hear my voice respond?