nymphamortem:

ashypinky:

the-unpopular-opinions:

Warning: this opinion is about rape
Hello, tumblr. My name is Jack. I’m 17 years old. As you can tell by my name, I’m a guy. And last year, I was raped by my older male neighbor. I’d put my tumblr URL here, but I’ve received some disturbing and frankly borderline triggering messages in regards to my rape, so I’d rather not risk it. I hope you understand.
Introductions aside…
When I first went through my rape, all the supportive posts on tumblr about male rape victims was very comforting. I’m glad people acknowledged that guys could be raped and that they matter.
However…
I eventually had much more bitter feelings towards these posts when I noticed a certain trend with them: almost all of them belittled female rape victims in some way.
Just because someone is talking about girls/women getting raped doesn’t mean you need to derail it with “guys get raped too!”. As long as nobody is denying that fact, it’s unnecessary. Not every conversation about rape has to include all demographics of rape victims. There can be posts about male rape victims only, and there can also be posts about female rape victims only. 
It seems like people also act like female rape victims have it soooo easy and should just shut the fuck up, because male rape victims have it harder. A lot of women in my life including my friends and my sister have been raped, and it isn’t any easier for them. They still are told they deserved it, not given the legal attention they deserve, and accused of being liars and bitter sluts. That doesn’t sound easy to me. Male rape victims deal with a unique stigma as well (as in, some people don’t even believe we can get raped, which sucks) but that doesn’t mean it’s much easier for the ladies.
And another thing, why can’t tumblr have one nice photoset or post about male rape victims without some dumbass commenting “Because they’re men, nobody will care” or “This won’t get nearly as many notes as the female version”? Uh, shut the fuck up? You’re ruining the powerful message behind the post. And also, rape isn’t a fucking contest.
This not only pisses me off because I care about women and female rape victims, but it also pisses me off because I get the impression these people don’t actually give a shit about male rape victims at all. They only seem to use us as a prop in arguments to derail discussions of feminism, female victims, etc. by using a vulnerable group who has been through a horrible trauma. How sick is that?
While it’s important to spread awareness of other types of rapes besides male on female, there’s way to do so without derailing or talking over other victims.
So, as a tl;dr to this opinion: if the only time you talk about male rape victims is in some way to downplay or belittle women getting raped, then fuck you. You are a piece of shit, nothing more.
We deserve to be mentioned in our own posts rather than in derailment, and women who have been deserve a chance to talk about their experience without someone derailing saying men can get raped too when nobody was denying that fact. Fuck. You.

Wish I could do something to help you along your way, Jack. You sound like a great person. If more were like you, this world would be so much better off. 

Bless you.

nymphamortem:

ashypinky:

the-unpopular-opinions:

Warning: this opinion is about rape

Hello, tumblr. My name is Jack. I’m 17 years old. As you can tell by my name, I’m a guy. And last year, I was raped by my older male neighbor. I’d put my tumblr URL here, but I’ve received some disturbing and frankly borderline triggering messages in regards to my rape, so I’d rather not risk it. I hope you understand.

Introductions aside…

When I first went through my rape, all the supportive posts on tumblr about male rape victims was very comforting. I’m glad people acknowledged that guys could be raped and that they matter.

However…

I eventually had much more bitter feelings towards these posts when I noticed a certain trend with them: almost all of them belittled female rape victims in some way.

Just because someone is talking about girls/women getting raped doesn’t mean you need to derail it with “guys get raped too!”. As long as nobody is denying that fact, it’s unnecessary. Not every conversation about rape has to include all demographics of rape victims. There can be posts about male rape victims only, and there can also be posts about female rape victims only. 

It seems like people also act like female rape victims have it soooo easy and should just shut the fuck up, because male rape victims have it harder. A lot of women in my life including my friends and my sister have been raped, and it isn’t any easier for them. They still are told they deserved it, not given the legal attention they deserve, and accused of being liars and bitter sluts. That doesn’t sound easy to me. Male rape victims deal with a unique stigma as well (as in, some people don’t even believe we can get raped, which sucks) but that doesn’t mean it’s much easier for the ladies.

And another thing, why can’t tumblr have one nice photoset or post about male rape victims without some dumbass commenting “Because they’re men, nobody will care” or “This won’t get nearly as many notes as the female version”? Uh, shut the fuck up? You’re ruining the powerful message behind the post. And also, rape isn’t a fucking contest.

This not only pisses me off because I care about women and female rape victims, but it also pisses me off because I get the impression these people don’t actually give a shit about male rape victims at all. They only seem to use us as a prop in arguments to derail discussions of feminism, female victims, etc. by using a vulnerable group who has been through a horrible trauma. How sick is that?

While it’s important to spread awareness of other types of rapes besides male on female, there’s way to do so without derailing or talking over other victims.

So, as a tl;dr to this opinion: if the only time you talk about male rape victims is in some way to downplay or belittle women getting raped, then fuck you. You are a piece of shit, nothing more.

We deserve to be mentioned in our own posts rather than in derailment, and women who have been deserve a chance to talk about their experience without someone derailing saying men can get raped too when nobody was denying that fact. Fuck. You.

Wish I could do something to help you along your way, Jack. You sound like a great person. If more were like you, this world would be so much better off. 

Bless you.

(via flyingtit)


rosalarian:

Gonna keep a tally of messages I get from a) white feminists completely proving my point and b) people who think this comic proves feminism is worthless because I criticized one part of it. (Even despite me writing these words underneath the comic.) Then I’ll add them all up, see which column has more, and then drink myself to sleep either way.
Haha… this is why we can’t have nice things.

rosalarian:

Gonna keep a tally of messages I get from a) white feminists completely proving my point and b) people who think this comic proves feminism is worthless because I criticized one part of it. (Even despite me writing these words underneath the comic.) Then I’ll add them all up, see which column has more, and then drink myself to sleep either way.

Haha… this is why we can’t have nice things.

(via gayeddel)


esleex:

when are white feminists gonna stop saying “stop teaching your daughter she’s beautiful and start telling her she’s smart!!” to WOC cause WOC teaching their daughters of color that they’re beautiful in a white-beauty standardized society is pretty radical also i’m asian white people always tell me im smart bc of that i dont need my mom telling me that

(via nonbinarykits)


fauvismluvr98:

the notion that iggy azalea is a feminist needs to get slam dunked into the trash. unrepentantly using the n-word and calling herself a slave master isn’t feminist, calling bisexual women ‘fake lesbians’ and masculine women d*kes isn’t feminist but like hey cudos to her for that song pu$$y that’s so like #girlpower

(via nui-kin-deactivated20140717)


"But women get unfair advantages in custody battles"

handaxe:

FALSE. Fathers who ask for sole custody are far more likely to get it. It’s just that they don’t ask, mostly women do. Men win custody over women even if they are ostensibly unfit. More and more, judges and parents rule in favor of 50/50 custody. In fact, in the past ten years, the men’s rights movement has been devastating to women seeking custody in court and women are awarded sole custody about half as many times as men.

(via fatxxslut)


hiphopfightsplaque:

cutebabe:

nooneneedsfeminism:

THERE IS NO PATRIARCHY.

THERE IS NO WAGE GAP.

THERE IS NO RAPE CULTURE.

FEMINISTS, STOP CREATING ABSURD, ILLOGICAL AND MYTHOLOGICAL THEORIES TO PROMOTE YOUR HATE  MOVEMENT.

do you even live on earth or like are you blogging somewhere on neptune if so hows the food there 

THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE

(via flyingtit)


Q
How do you feel about trans women invading feminist spaces?
Anonymous
A

daniellemertina:

i don’t get how a woman can “invade” a space meant for women. 


theloa:

mindizmyspear:

theloa:

misandry-mermaid:

samanticshift:

stoptellingwomentosmile:

through-the-pesticide:

archmasterjazzy:

tasa-arvoitus:

poppypicklesticks:

m-l-t:

iamelizah:

The artist behind the “Stop Telling Women to Smile” campaign wheat pasting in downtown Atlanta, GA.

This is such a vain campaign.

how self absorbed do you have to be 

I guess I’m an oppressor now because I tell people to smile if I see them sad.In my case, smiling can actually help you feel better.

If being asked to smile is the worst thing to happen to women, I’ll take it. 

Because trying to be friendly is oppression. Ever tried to see things a bit more positively? Maybe someone asks you to smile because they want to try and cheer you up a bit? No, let’s just assume that all those evil gross men want you to smile for their entertainment only, because OBVIOUSLY every man is selfish like that (oh and women would never ever say things like that am I right?). 

*rubs temples*"I tell people to smile if I see them sad."You assume that someone is sad. And sometimes, people do not appreciate you interjecting your assumptions onto them. Moving throughout the day with a neutral face does not mean you are sad. It means that you are simply not smiling.If someone IS sad, being told to smile is not an automatic pick-me-up. Smiling is a natural reaction. People do not need to be told when to smile. It will happen easily and genuinely for them."If being asked to smile is the worst thing to happen to women, I’ll take it."Really? Do you really think this work is saying that being told to smile is the worst thing that happens to women?  "Maybe someone asks you to smile because they want to try and cheer you up a bit?"Wrong. “Smile for me.” “You’d be prettier if you smiled.” “Let me get a smile.” etc. Those are not gestures of comfort. Those are attempts by the man asking (read: demanding) to make the woman more approachable for HIM. For her to be more physically appealing to HIM. It has nothing to do with her or her emotions. And that is what the title work is about. I find it really mind-boggling that I have to remind people that the title of the project has nothing to do with the act of smiling. It’s about the demand to smile. It’s also interesting that the Smile piece is the subject of this thread, when it isn’t the piece in the photo. STWTS encompasses a range of statements that address street harassment - including the one pictured, “Women Are Not Outside For Your Entertainment”. Why isn’t the conversation about that poster? Being told to smile is one instance that fits into this larger context of the way women are treated in the public space. Each poster serves as that very same thing - one reaction to a particular type of treatment. All together, the posters are confronting a larger issue. People get stuck on the smile piece, when there is a larger issue that the posters are pointing to. -TF

All the above. Incidentally, every person who’s told me to smile has been really aggressive and weird about it, like my lack of a smile was personally offensive to them.

The most recent instance that I was told to smile by a stranger in public, I had been told less than an hour before that my friend had attempted suicide and was currently in the hospital. So maybe think about that the next time you start to assume that other people’s faces and emotions are ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

They may say “Can I see a smile?” - we hear “Dance my puppet, dance!”
I wonder if any - ANY - of the men who have demanded I smile for them ever asked the same question of another man. Because that’s kind of a problem. 

I rarely have issues with dudes making innocuous if awkward and lame little comments like “Where’s your smile, sis?” It bothers me when they do one of about 50,000 other legitimately unacceptable behaviors on the street like commenting on my butt or titties. I wish there was a campaign to get them to stop doing that shit.

I think this campaign does that. The smiling thing is only one part of the focus. The poster above says “Women are not outside for your entertainment”.

theloa:

mindizmyspear:

theloa:

misandry-mermaid:

samanticshift:

stoptellingwomentosmile:

through-the-pesticide:

archmasterjazzy:

tasa-arvoitus:

poppypicklesticks:

m-l-t:

iamelizah:

The artist behind the “Stop Telling Women to Smile” campaign wheat pasting in downtown Atlanta, GA.

This is such a vain campaign.

how self absorbed do you have to be 

I guess I’m an oppressor now because I tell people to smile if I see them sad.

In my case, smiling can actually help you feel better.

If being asked to smile is the worst thing to happen to women, I’ll take it. 

Because trying to be friendly is oppression. Ever tried to see things a bit more positively? Maybe someone asks you to smile because they want to try and cheer you up a bit? No, let’s just assume that all those evil gross men want you to smile for their entertainment only, because OBVIOUSLY every man is selfish like that (oh and women would never ever say things like that am I right?). 

*rubs temples*

"I tell people to smile if I see them sad."
You assume that someone is sad. And sometimes, people do not appreciate you interjecting your assumptions onto them. Moving throughout the day with a neutral face does not mean you are sad. It means that you are simply not smiling.
If someone IS sad, being told to smile is not an automatic pick-me-up. Smiling is a natural reaction. People do not need to be told when to smile. It will happen easily and genuinely for them.

"If being asked to smile is the worst thing to happen to women, I’ll take it."
Really? Do you really think this work is saying that being told to smile is the worst thing that happens to women?
 
"Maybe someone asks you to smile because they want to try and cheer you up a bit?"
Wrong. “Smile for me.” “You’d be prettier if you smiled.” “Let me get a smile.” etc. Those are not gestures of comfort. Those are attempts by the man asking (read: demanding) to make the woman more approachable for HIM. For her to be more physically appealing to HIM. 
It has nothing to do with her or her emotions. And that is what the title work is about. 

I find it really mind-boggling that I have to remind people that the title of the project has nothing to do with the act of smiling. It’s about the demand to smile. 

It’s also interesting that the Smile piece is the subject of this thread, when it isn’t the piece in the photo. STWTS encompasses a range of statements that address street harassment - including the one pictured, “Women Are Not Outside For Your Entertainment”. Why isn’t the conversation about that poster?
Being told to smile is one instance that fits into this larger context of the way women are treated in the public space. Each poster serves as that very same thing - one reaction to a particular type of treatment. All together, the posters are confronting a larger issue. People get stuck on the smile piece, when there is a larger issue that the posters are pointing to. 

-
TF

All the above. Incidentally, every person who’s told me to smile has been really aggressive and weird about it, like my lack of a smile was personally offensive to them.

The most recent instance that I was told to smile by a stranger in public, I had been told less than an hour before that my friend had attempted suicide and was currently in the hospital. So maybe think about that the next time you start to assume that other people’s faces and emotions are ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

They may say “Can I see a smile?” - we hear “Dance my puppet, dance!”

I wonder if any - ANY - of the men who have demanded I smile for them ever asked the same question of another man. Because that’s kind of a problem. 

I rarely have issues with dudes making innocuous if awkward and lame little comments like “Where’s your smile, sis?” It bothers me when they do one of about 50,000 other legitimately unacceptable behaviors on the street like commenting on my butt or titties. I wish there was a campaign to get them to stop doing that shit.

I think this campaign does that. The smiling thing is only one part of the focus. The poster above says “Women are not outside for your entertainment”.

(via gryffin-dyke)


fauxcyborg:

i’m kind of against “feminists fuck better” as like, literally any sort of political statement nowadays because like, uh, who cares. like literally who cares, we shouldn’t be appeasing men who are afraid of feminists by saying we’ll give you better orgasms and have less limits than those prudish other women. 

stop making feminism about how turned on men are by fierce, independent women who wear red lipstick blah blah blah. it’s boring and useless. 

yeah seriously it’s incredibly misogynistic and erasing/devaluing asexual women


You must remember, it isn’t about “All men are menaces to women,” it’s about “All women have been menaced by men.”

The best shit I’ll read all week (via emlestrange)

The best ever response to the ‘not all men!’ crusade. If it’s not about you, stop making it about you.

(via clementineford)

(via broooooke)