today, I decided to do things outside of my home. today I walked down the street, took the bart around town, carried my body out & then back again homeward bound. & in that time span, those minutes cumulatively maybe 2 or 3 hours all together, I was harassed by 20 different men at least.
I haven’t slept in days because my insomnia is back. I am stressed & frazzled from looking for a job. I am drained barely crawling along with the small pieces I have of my mental health. But some random fucking guy on the street has the audacity to feel indignant when I don’t respond kindly to being called “sexy bitch” ? & then, I come home to my blog, my small little safe space where I have some some degree of control over things, & I get some fucking asshole trying to antagonize me in my inbox?
even as I am writing this out, even as I was trying to talk about this in the video, there is a part of me trying to normalize it. trying to shut me up. there is an internalized bullshit voice telling me that this happens to everybody & that today was no anomaly.
this may be commonplace, but that doesn’t make it okay. this may happen all of the time, but that doesn’t make it any less detestable when it happens to me. this is a fucking goddamn hard world to live in as persyn seen as inferior, as other, as public fucking property.
I can’t change anybody else, but I have a right to my experience & I can speak my truth. that’s about all that I have. so I’m going to allow myself some grace & some vulnerability, by sharing these words written & recorded. nothing fancy. nothing big. nothing groundbreaking. nothing new. just this.
This is very true and important. You’re totally right about the fact that both dudes harassing women on the street and porn blogs feeling they should have access to our images is male entitlement and their refusal of our autonomy. And I think you’ve made a great link between street harassment and porn blogs on tumblr. We don’t owe anyone shit. Especially not our bodies. They want us to normalize it, but it’s not normal. It’s all fucked bb, and you’re a precious angel who has done nothing to deserve this